Is it just me or is March terrible? 

I remember when I was younger people always saying March comes “in like a lion, and out like a lamb” as a way to remind us that things would get better. 

We’re about halfway through, so I am anticipating that any day now it’s going to get absolutely LIT out here. 

I looked back to my last year’s posts from March and noticed the first two were these philosophical laments on the meaning of life and survivance, and the last two included a really fun outing with my friend and a reflection on the first blooms of the season. So, maybe there is something in that old saying. 

I’ve been posting less frequently this year so far. In part because I find myself avoiding writing on weeks where the thing in the forefront of my mind is so negative that I’m not sure if I can see my way to writing about it with any clarity, and so I haven’t tried. Well, I have tried. And then stopped. 

The other reason is just the absolute onslaught of life, and not being able to shoe-horn a writing session into that. There are too many places to go, appointments to book and get to, checklists to make, lunches to pack, seasonal illnesses to heal, clients to support, projects to finish, deadlines to crush. 

My husband has been reading this book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown, and when he explained the premise to me (you focus on just a few things that are priorities, and eliminate everything else) my immediate, unhesitant response was, “that sounds like a book for men.”  Like, let’s give this book to all the women and see how quickly everyone is walking around starving in dirty clothes with no idea if there’s a softball game or if library books are due today. 

Ahem.

But anyways, the prompt was how do we deal with these negative feelings? 

Well, thinking about an idea that is bigger than me usually helps. I think it’s partially that notion from Carl Sagan’s Cosmos that if all of history from the Big Bang to now happened in one calendar year, then all of recorded human history happens in the last second before midnight on December 31. There is nothing more humbling than that thought. While we can all be a celebrity on social media for a moment or two, knowing that in the grand scheme of things every bad day, wrong move, or regret is less than a blip on the screen still has the ability to put these things into perspective for me. 

I recently read about the idea of resume values vs. eulogy values (it’s a cool idea that was shared in unfortunately one of the worst TED talk videos I’ve ever seen, but still interesting to think about). The idea is that while we’re generally praised in our lives for our business and school achievements, working towards community, connection and love – those things that people often don’t appreciate about us until they write our eulogy – are really the important things. 

And so working on those values often helps me dig my way out of negative feelings, too. I can do this by listening to a friend talk through problems, spending time with my family, or supporting people I love if they’re throwing an event, raising money for something, or embarking on a new project. All of those things help me get out of my own head and realize why it’s important to be part of the world. And the most important detail: my contributions don’t have to be larger than life to matter. 

And the outside is finally starting to get a little less hostile, so walking in my neighborhood, near the water, or in the woods is always a surefire mood lifter. Walking on a walking pad/treadmill inside or on an indoor track can be nice too, but at this point in the year, I am so over trying to find an audio book or podcast that’s interesting enough to keep me on the walking pad for more than 5 minutes. So, I’m thrilled to get outside again. 

On that bananas 70 degree day this week, my daughter and I joined our neighbors to ride bikes down the street, and it was enough to get me out of the funk of the most recent viral illness that’s hit our house. Fresh air and fresh company really is medicine.

And if all that fails, there is dessert. I had some fabulous beignets with caramel sauce with my mom last night, and I will be high off those for the next few days. 

Back right before the great shutdown of 2020, I went for “a last supper” with my forever friends (which we didn’t realize was going to be our finale of eating out for nearly a year). And when the photo memory of that dinner pops up on any of our phones, one of my besties always laments that we were “too full” for dessert and didn’t order any, but if we had known, we would have ordered them all! 

So, let this be a lesson to you. Life is short, and you never know when you are going to be stuck inside without a dessert menu for any length of time. The best remedy for negativity is to fill your mind, your heart, and your stomach with positivity whenever you can. Then you’ll always have a healthy well of happiness (and chocolate) to return to when you need it.