This morning I was getting River ready for the bus, doing a few items on my own to-do list, and mentioned I was thinking about what to write today. River knows I love writing, and that I do it all the time, and she is aware of the blog, but hasn’t read it. 

Without missing a beat she said, “Why don’t you write about me? And the things I’m doing. Like this…”

We have loads of her art hanging around. Of course there is the folder full of papers that comes home every day – a steady stream I have been receiving since the day-care days. These have transformed from nightmarish duck, to a million rainbows, to really interesting explorations of modern art. She has had some great art teachers over the years, and has come home telling me about Alma Woodsey Thomas and showing off re-creations of Monet’s Water Lilies or Matisse’s Icarus and as an art history fan, I am always stoked that she now has these images in her visual lexicon. 

But art has always been a hobby we shared. This was mostly prompted by my husband who loves to paint and draw, and has equipped all three of us with high quality art supplies (I have always been a buy-the-cheap-crayons kind of girl, so he really elevates my doodling). I’m content to make color splashes on a canvas while I listen to music, and I’m generally not upset if my end result is a gray mess. Peter has put much more time and energy into actually learning how to draw and perfecting his techniques of figure drawing and watercolor painting. I love that this is something we all do together, and that my daughter has examples of doing art just for fun, and the results you can get when you put different levels of energy into it. 

It made me think a little about how she will remember us one day. And maybe if she moves away, when she is lonely, she might run to an art store, buy some supplies, and make some things and be reminded of all the time we spent together creating art and having fun. Maybe she’ll even share the activity with someone else and make new memories. 

Women have not generally been encouraged to have hobbies – outside of the stuff we do take care of our homes, shopping, makeup, and working out to look good. It felt very foreign for me to actually sit down and play with paint and colored pencils when Peter and I started doing this years ago. I felt silly, like I was wasting time when I should have been cleaning or making dinner. But he helped me to embrace the moment, and create something unique – even if it wasn’t “good.” That was not the point. 

What we have created is a special space and activity that we can turn to when we’re bored or sad or even happy. And now we have little pieces of art that make a timeline of our lives together as our subjects and skills grow and change. It’s a type of play that has actually filled a lot of happy hours, decorated rooms of our home, and helped us imagine the future and remember the moments of creation. 

While he did it less and less as the years went by, my Dad’s hobby was fishing. And though many of my memories are dim, I do remember spending time with him, and sometimes a friend of his, in a boat, learning to fish, telling jokes, and just enjoying the day. In the last few years, my husband, who also loves fishing, made some special attempts to bring my Dad fishing with my daughter, and sometimes her cousins. I have a few pictures of these days, and while I wasn’t usually participating, they always bring me joy. 

I am so happy that my daughter will have those memories of doing something with her Dad and Peepaw just for fun, and because they loved it. I’m grateful we have an activity that connects us all. Because while science might tell us there are a variety of positive health benefits to having hobbies, I think that would never actually motivate me to take something up and stick with it. The feeling of connection I feel with my Dad when I think about (or even occasionally go) fishing, or just go out on the water, and the feeling I anticipate my daughter will have one day when she plays with paint on a canvas, is much more compelling. Knowing I am building something invisible that is going to support her when I can’t seems like a great investment.