If getting through January is like watching concrete dry, then August is like pouring honey into a cup of tea; it’s golden and sticky and sweet, and while it looks slow and lazy, it disappears way too fast. 

I can’t believe school is starting here in just a few days (I know it’s already started in some places) and while I’m sure we’ll have plenty more hot days this year, the freedom and relaxed pace of summer will be over. 

In the spirit of the transition into “fall things”, I’m doing another check-in. 

This is post 28, over 24,000 words written, and nearly 2,000 views. I’m proud that I’ve continued writing, and thankful that people have kept reading. 

I have shared some of my firsts from May to August, but here is a list/recap: 

• Threw a sustainability party: I invited about 50ish people to my house to donate clothing and swap books while we ate snacks and shared company. I even sent everyone home with takeout boxes of the food that wasn’t finished. It felt lovely to have a house and yard full of friendly faces, and to know that we were sharing our resources and doing something good together.
• Held a clothing drive: I wrote at length about this one here. It was fun, and I raised a lot of money and really worked out my biceps. 
• Dance recital: I watched my daughter in her first ever dance recital. Despite this being decidedly not my recital, I was again just floored by the amount of work modern parents have to put into supporting children’s hobbies and activities. I am so proud of my daughter for all she learned and accomplished, and thankfully, I got to wait out the classes with two really awesome moms who I got to know better over the course of the year. 
• Took my daughter for a pedicure: this was my 8-year-old’s first visit to a nail salon, and my first in a looooong time. We had a blast. We had the place to ourselves early on a weekday, and we both had lovely toes for our vacation at the beach. 
• Helped put together a very unique celebration of life/art show for my mother-in-law

• Gardened again for the first time in a few years and was mildly successful with a harvest that included radishes, snap peas, long beans, scallions, kohlrabi, basil, and tomatoes.
• Visited Oregon where I enjoyed so many things for the first time including touring a submarine, sea lions just hanging out on the pier, VooDoo Doughnuts, and visiting with west coast family members. 

• Finally I watched a robin build a nest in our (relatively new) shade structure and raise their babies over the last 4 weeks. Watching the time it took to build the nest (a 2 day process) and then hatch the eggs and find enough food for the babies (literally an all day affair for several weeks) I was just in awe of the amount of energy this other mom put into getting these chicks ready for the world. It made me think that while we are different, parenting is pretty much a labor of love no matter the species or definition of love. And I guess it also made me think if I can find common ground with a being of another species I can’t even talk to, why do some people have such a hard time finding common ground with other humans? I guess touching grass really is important for our mental health and ability to get along with others.

Things I’ve been listening to/reading: 

I’ve read a few articles about how all of the Songs of Summer this year are slow bummers. (Historically, there are some summers where the title winning song has been a ballad, there are just fewer of them). But the ones I have been loving this summer are the Dylanesque Horses by Jesse Welles (which came out in winter, but I only heard it recently), and the final song from KPop Demon Hunters (the new soundtrack to my life), What It Sounds Like by Huntr/x.

They both have some pretty fantastic lyrics, and they also are more fun to dance to and sing along with than most of the stuff on the current song of summer charts. 

I’ve been reading so much this summer, but two books stuck out to me that had some messaging that felt linked. 

I read Madness: Race and Insanity in a Jim Crow Asylum by Antonia Hylton as part of an online book club. It was a brutal read, but a really important history of the ways the mental healthcare system has injured its patients, particularly Black patients. And this one quote provided a hopeful end to the story: 

“But you cannot outrun pain. It will creep down the branches of your family tree until it finds someone who is tiring of the sprint. It will take hold of that person who is willing to acknowledge that it is there, and demand that they find their way back through the forest.” 

About a month later I read The Seven Generations and The Seven Grandfather Teachings by James Vukelich Kaagegaabaw, who I’ve followed on social media for a while, and I really enjoy his language teachings. After talking about the generational trauma and resilience he inherited from relatives who had been kidnapped and placed in Indian boarding schools, he shared: 

“Ojibwe people have known that…if we can lead a good life, then we will positively affect our families, our communities, and our nation and not just in the present. We are inextricably connected to our relatives past and future. If we choose to lead a good life then we will positively affect all of our relatives… if I change myself, I can help those people who are no longer here with me…we are still writing our ancestors stories.”

Neither of these books reflect my cultural story, but I can’t help appreciating and acknowledging that these lessons and wisdom can help all of us. Both books describe how pain can outlive the person who experienced it, but that inheriting that pain isn’t a dead end. I love the idea that the way I am living my life, the choices I make, the kindness I show, and the truth I uncover and share can help me be a better parent, but can also help my father truly rest in peace. It sounds like magic, and maybe it is, but knowing that our actions have ripple effects in time in both directions really feels like a power we should be working on.